I'd always introduced myself to a journal but I think now with the potential of someone else reading it, it feels intrusive. There was something about keeping your thoughts written on paper that enabled an internal freedom that paralleled decades of psychoanalysis. Perhaps throwing caution to the wind and doing it here would jump start that for me now. It's been almost a decade since I've tried, so why not do it right?
My name is Dominique. I am 25-years-old. I have blond hair and blue/green eyes that change color depending on my outfit (stock sentence). I'm short and shapely (this used to be thin and curvy before I gained 20 lbs). I live in my own apartment and I pay my bills and have a real job in client relations for a financial firm. I also go to graduate school at Sarah Lawrence. In May, I will have my M.A. in Women's History. I am in a relationship with a really sweet man/boy. Currently, I am co producing V-Day on campus, writing my thesis, and working on opening a food business. I don't think I have ADD because I definitely have the ability to focus, but I've realized I'm not happy unless I'm doing a million things at once.
The strange thing is, I'm beginning to feel the sense of time like never before. My body is preparing for age and it's putting pressure on me to react. No longer can I just sit in my room after work and veg out. I must be constantly in motion to be sated.
For the last few weeks, I've been trying a different approach. My favorite hobby is cooking which has gotten me in trouble. "Testing recipes" is a quick road to Lane Bryant. So instead, I've made a list of all the things I'm interested in and am making a plan to put them into motion.
Two weeks ago, I learned to knit. I am really terrible and I only know one stitch but I've got the motion of it and think it'll be okay. When I was in college, I briefly coxed for the men's rowing team and since have always wanted to learn to row. I went to school in Miami and we would wake up before dawn and drive south to Key Biscayne. More than once we saw dolphins swimming alongside the boats, macaws littered the trees, and flying fish jumped up to say hello to the sunshine. Given a memory like that, I was overjoyed when I found a coach who would teach me out of New Rochelle. The morning came for my first lesson, and I was up at 5. My clothes laid out, my gym bag at the door, but when I stepped into the crisp 40 degree air, I turned around and went back to bed. I think I'll put that one in the file for Spring sandwiched between hiking, golf, and sailing lessons. For now, I'll stick with indoor riffle lessons, cello development, and indoor tennis (hopefully).
Maybe I'm going too far out on a ledge. A friend recently told me it takes 5 years to get really good at any one thing (a golfer once told me the same), so how will I ever be good at anything and still have time to sleep?
I guess I should work out and take vitamins as a first step. At least that way I might live long enough to do the rest.
Truth be told, I've just really wanted to write for a while. I should be working on my thesis prospectus which is due today and I should be double checking my project for work. I should not be watching lost Daria episodes on youtube, even though they're brilliant and they're giving me creative ideas.
I need a time frame that's realistic for me and a life span to match. I wonder how to accomplish that?
No comments:
Post a Comment