Definition of life

I came up with an argument on how to define life for all them pro lifers. **

Birthdays are marked one year after the year of our birth. This is a commonly held belief across many cultures and communities. If we don't celebrate the life before this, it is obviously because the person was not yet alive.

**Note. I do not believe in abortion. I am pro choice but really pro education. Talk to your children and adults, talk to you partners about making the right decisions before it ever gets out of hand.

They call it slut

slut slət
noun
a slovenly or promiscuous woman.


Wiki definition: http://ow.ly/1agtK

I am recently single and having left a three-year relationship, I wonder what my sex life is going to look like going forward.

I like sex. In fact, I really love it and need it on a regular basis to stay happy. My friends complain when it's been too long. I apparently get cranky and short with people. "Snippy," they call me.

For a while, I thought it would be best to try the singular approach. I purchased a "neck massager" from the Sharper Image. This satisfies an immediate urge but it barely compares to the real thing. I can't get comfortable with the idea of any other toy so I'm stuck at the vibrating level.

Then, I tried porn - if only to get myself there mentally quicker. I have so much to say about the sad state of that industry. First off, it's disgusting; not because of quality or some feminist message but in most of these, women don't look like they're enjoying it. I even watched gay porn and the bottom looked like he was in pain the entire time. Last week, I watched a threesome and the woman actually said “ow,” and tried to pull away, only to be completely ignored and mouth fucked to near choking... The most frightening thing about this is that a lot of young men, especially the ones lacking confidence, watch this garbage as a way to learn. And little do they realize that moaning is all a lie. I dated one of these boys and trust me when I say bad habits are hard to break. To make matters worse, once you break them you're back at square one and at 25-years-old, a busy job, and hectic schedule, I just don't have the patience to teach someone who isn't, shall we say, a quick study.

In my mind, sex accounts for 50% of an intimate relationship. It is most important to cultivate a friendship but if you don't have great sexual chemistry than you're left alone with a buddy who might as well have the same genitalia as you. And I love my ex, will always love him, but that's what it has felt like between us for quite some time now.

Saying that, you can imagine I lost some faith in men and the entire sexual dynamic between the genders. Prior to him, I dated someone for four years - who was a virgin for Christ's sake and fortunately displayed natural talent but never wanted to have sex! He thought it should be saved for special occasions when it was all about love.

Looking back on it, I feel like I was on punishment. I wondered whose karma I messed with that badly to be in such a predicament - for almost the last SIX YEARS, mind you. In between the two there was one rebound guy. He was gorgeous. Could have fit into the Jersey Shore really well and dumb as rocks, but great in other capacities. Then a brief attempt at dating, which was thoroughly depressing, and I was swept into a relationship again.

Well no more! The only good thing about them (at this juncture in my life) would be the beginning lusty stages with sex on a regular, ahmm, daily basis.

The alternatives:

The dating scene - fix ups, loud bars, being lucky enough to find someone during a mutual interest. My predicament - I like nerdy things. Comic guys are not going to work for me. I hate bars and drinking and picking up random strangers is scary and/or gross. The men at my school are mostly gay or really feminine (@Sarah Lawrence - strait, smart men - if you can go there, do. You'll have access to great, rich ass). I would not date someone in finance. They are dry and dull. The uber wonderful and wealthy chairman of my company implies he'd like to hook me up with his rich friends, but I don't know that I can meet someone that way. If it doesn't work out, someone from work will invariably know intimate details about me, and that's weird.

The F Buddy - I love this idea but it's tricky and you have to be really lucky. Random sex with no commitment only works between two people who have sexual chemistry and respect for one another, but nothing else. You cannot see yourself dating them on any level, in any world because then one day, when you're feeling a bit down, they become more interesting to you, and even if they aren't real, feelings get involved. I have one. I'm not going to lie. He's been in my life for 10 years. This is a completely un-PC thing to say, but he's uneducated, blue-collar, and not the type of person I'd bring to a business dinner, but oh my god, what a fortune to have an arrangement like this.

Starting a relationship with a friend - Unless I go Les, I don't really have this option. I have all of 3 male friends and one of them is my brother, ewww! The other two I'm not into and probably will never be.

Aside from that, I can't think of any other options of getting laid aside from a craigslist ad. I am truly fortunate to have a buddy. If I had to try to find someone organically, I'd be petrified.

I went to a bar with a friend recently, for no other reason than she and I make terrible bartenders. We stood in a corner and sipped our drinks, catching up on one another’s lives. After our second drink, I noticed we'd been spotted. I'm pretty good at paying attention to the things around me and the scene went something like this:

She and I were standing by a wall for the entire night. A group of three guys stood a bit further away but in the same general area. Their friends walked back and forth throughout the night making their group larger and smaller at times. After our second drink, one of their rather inebriated friends motioned toward us. The three stationary members nodded and said yeah, go find out. He came over. We gave fake names. He talked and talked until we said okay to a drink. I watched him stand three feet away at the bar. Nothing in our drinks. We did the shot - a kamikaze - (why do men think this is a good go-to shot for chicks?) and then we got really lucky. His friend saved the day - walked over chuckling at what a drunken idiot his friend was and said, "bro, we're waiting for you." At which time they both left to play pool and we walked out the front door. On my way home I wondered if this method works for anyone else. What kind of chance do you have at getting someone good in these social situations and which situations are ideal for meeting a member of the opposite sex without the immediate expectation being a quick hook up? Needless to say, I was getting depressed.

Sports are a definite no. This may be the one time most Alpha males are distracted enough they won't notice cleavage.

Cultural outings - You'd have to get really lucky and be bold enough to approach someone in public. Most guys are with their significant others.

Parks - love this idea but it's winter

School - maybe if you're actually still in school and not at a college that is 91% women.

Work - bad idea

Apartment building - another bad idea. Don't shit where you eat people.

The gym - probably not gonna happen unless you're already in shape and the person enjoys sweat.

The beach - hope you're confident.

Dating sites - I haven't tried this and what I'm told is there's a plethora of available, normal-seeming women with no time to date but no nice guys.

I'm not sure what else is out there. I've been off the market for such a long time, I don't know how to do this anymore. Compounded with the fact that I'm allegedly intimidating (I don't know how someone who is barely over 5' tall can be), I don't know what I'll do to get ass on a regular basis.

Damn. This is going to be way harder than I thought. Suggestions?

Marriage - from a Man's POV

I went to lunch today with some colleagues - 2 married men and one affianced set to wed at the end of March and oh boy, I am depressed.

The advice ranged from:

Say goodbye to your sex life
Don't do too much or she'll expect it all the time
When you're right it's expected, when you're wrong you're a dumbass
Get plenty of alone time
Your wife is smiling as she walks down the aisle because she'll never have to give a blowjob again
Act stupid - it's what she expects
Say goodbye to your hair
Have kids soon - you'll have more alone time
Say goodbye to sleep
Don't say anything about your in-laws. Wait for her to say something and then pretend like you weren't bothered at all
You'll never be in charge again
Forget bringing any of your things along. The house is her domain. That band poster you had, it'll go in the garage/basement/your office/trash
At the wedding, you might as well be a cardboard cut out
She thinks you're a dumbass

The list goes on.

I couldn't help but think back to my previous relationships. Yes, I nagged and yes, I expected a lot of them. And I can rationalize it by saying that I do a whole hell of a lot, all the time, so I want to be with someone who is at least some semblance of similar. I've accepted certain truths about our biological differences and I work very hard to believe them every day. Some of which being, women have 7, repeat, SEVEN, listening centers in their brains while men only have one. (It's a similar story for sight). Statistically, men are happier on average when they have more sex. For women, it's the quality of the act. Men feel pain when they don't ejaculate. Women - well, I won't speak on that. I know personally, when I haven't had it on a regular basis, I'm not a nice person but I'm not sure if there's a uniformity to it within the gender.

We are socialized differently in terms of the way we communicate and what we speak about but in today's world, where so many women have managed to build a career, make themselves beautiful, have a family, and find hobbies that keep them interesting to talk to, is it still fair for men to maintain the attitude that as long as they have jobs and earn a wage, their wives should do the rest? In the 1950's, I could almost agree with that. Women were shut out of the work force and relegated to homemaker. That said, they should have kept a clean house and their children should get plenty of attention, but that reality stopped a long time ago when the cost of living for the quality of life required both parents to bring home the bacon.

To come home after a long day's work and provide a family meal when a husband thinks it's still okay to end his day as soon as he walks through the door is just plain unfair and a loved one should never be okay with handing off the workload.

Maybe it's idealistic but I think that a relationship should be a perfect 50/50 partnership. Perhaps there are too many old school men passing along horror stories to the new generations but maybe, just maybe, if women don't play along, it will get better. Or maybe, it's just a question of sex. Men seem to be placated for as long as they're getting laid. Sadly if they expect it to stop, they'll stop trying to get it. I feel this is a horrible Catch 22 because once they stop being slick about their attempt, they are so hard to be attracted to and there ain’t nothing worse than routine sex.

I want to get married though. I like men. I find them to be amusing and their way of life, so different from our own, is fun to watch. My only wish is that I can find one who isn't so disillusioned by this entire structure that I won't have to spend every second double checking that I haven't turned into one of the women they're warned about. And of course, I'll try my best not to make him feel like I think he's a dumbass.

My test

When I was young, I was naturally thin and muscular. I didn't have to do much to have definition in my stomach and legs and damn, I had a hot body. I wasn't terribly ungrateful but maybe just a little too unaware of how fleeting it would be.

I'm not complaining now. I still look okay even though I've gained 20 lbs since college. My teeny tshirts are stacked away in a drawer with my club clothes. I don't really miss them. What I miss is the ability to throw something on and feel good no matter what it is. Being thin isn't just some commercialized ideal popularized in women's magazine's. It isn't something people tell you you should be just because it's in. I'm sure it's that also but for me, it's a feeling on health and motion. I've been in great shape and for the last few years, I've been lazy and mushy and I can't, take it, ANYMORE.

So this is my test.

Over the next 30-days, I will not eat anything white. I will eat very little dairy. I will limit my meat intake and simply stick with whole, unprocessed foods. I will eat grains and nuts. I will not drink soda or sugary beverages, and I will not eat late at night. I will have snacks throughout the day which will be no larger than the size of my fist, and I will drink plenty of water and tea.

I did this last year and I lost 20 lbs, but I did it without exercising. This time, I will exercise. I will incorporate exercise into my DAILY life. During the first week, i will hit the gym five times. I will go to a yoga class once and on Sunday's, I will go for a long walk. The second week, I will try to go to two yoga classes and extend my Sunday walk. When I am in the gym, I will begin with 3 rounds of the sun salutation. I will walk on the treadmill for no less than 1 mile and no longer than 30 minutes. I will then do some floor exersices incorporating pilated and abs. I will then take light weights onto the eliptical machine and work out my shoulders, triceps and biceps for no less than 10 minutes before moving back to the floor mat to complete my ab workout. As I progress and feel more comfortable, I will extend all of these moves. I will figure out how to use all of the machines and add a body part as I see fit. I will continue this routine until the end of the 30 days which will be the 15th of March.

I worked out once in college and it didn't take me very long to lose 10 lbs simply using the eliptical machine and watching my carbs. I'd really like to see what happens now that I'm older and my metabolism may have slowed.

I will keep you posted on my progress. I really can't take this anymore. I recently learned what a FUPA is and I'm sad to say, if I continue my bad habits, I'm going to have one.

Smallville - Absolute Justice

I've been twittering. And, I enjoy it. But I've finally watched Absolute Justice and I have more to say than just 140 characters.*

I firmly believe that just like dog and cat, there are two types of people in this world. There are the Batman people, and the Superman people. I won't describe the differences. You know who you are. I, am a Superman person. Through and through, and I must say that over the years, I have been deeply disappointed with the way that Man of Steel is treated. Paul Dini, you should be a little ashamed. I know you're a Batman person. It's fine. He's a wonderful character, but COME ON! I mean really, come on. You had him in pain over bullets in a few episodes. What is that?

Sorry. I have anger.

Getting on...

I watched the first season of Smallville and then caught a few episodes here and there. Most honestly because I love the character and damn, Tom Welling is hot. Unfortunately, the acting was pitiful and the writing was, well, I'll leave that alone.

And, Lana. It wasn't the most pleasant time I've spent on the couch.

But now it seems, that's all over. Geoff John's did a great job. I can say I'm not ashamed to do a little ass kissing and bestow some praise for the lucky fan who lived the dream, grew up and wrote something for live-action properly. For serious. Thank you.

Here are some things that I LOVED:

The allusion to Canary via Ollie's emails

Loved the choice of golden age characters in the mix

Shiera and the reincarnation part - smile

Lex Corps on a building in the scene

Kill Bill callback in Dr. Fate's speech

Lois' assonence, "honest to goodness spandex-sporting superheros," and how quippy she was during her first appearance on camera. And her slethy-ness. Actually, Erica Durance, thanks. You make a good Lois.

Great costuming

LOVED LOVED LOVED the cape in Fate's vision.

Was he supposed to be Dr. Emil Hamilton because good job!

If you ever auction off the JSA table, let me know.

For one fluttering moment, I thought about what it would be like to be on a sex tape with Green Arrow and Kal and how little I would mind it getting out.

Whoops, thought about it again.

Dope mace for Hawkman.

I like Green Arrow on the show. It's almost as if Batman were there but you know, a nicer version.

Is Tess Mercer supposed to be Mercy?

I have to give you some criticism, if only to keep anyone's head from getting too big:

Hawks don't fly like that.

Icicle was lame and played the role a bit...I'll keep that one to myself.

I know she's your girl, and I liked her in the JLU cartoon, but in this, I did not care for Star Girl. I assume it was the actress and the hideous fight scenes.

Why oh why is Lex dead? I like him and Michael Rosenblum is the mans. Especially as Flash. He could don a red wig and play him. What do we think?

Pam Grier is too hot to be Amanda Waller. Her hair needs to be shorter and she needs to be fat. Sexy women like that aren't mean. They don't need to be. A young person would be handling her sh*t right now. Trust me.

I do like that she's courting Lois though.

I don't really get the Chloe character. She's like a Lois but not - and though I recently heard about the Chlois movement, I'm not sure what that is. I do however, think she'll probably be Dr. Fate. Right now, she more like Oracle.

Overall, I have a feeling of retribution from this episode. If anyone ever puts Tom Welling in a Superman costume, I think you'd have close to a billion happy women on this planet. Just an FYI.

*The funny side-note is twitter opened my eyes to the possibility that someone else might want to read when I feel the need to geek the eff out. So enjoy.

Today has been a good day

Sometimes, I get really sad. I feel like the entire world is moving so quickly and I'm stuck in one place. I want so many careers and so many experiences but there isn't enough time in the day (and I really enjoy sleep). I've tried to maintain control over all of it - whether it be the vlog i'm working on, my thesis, my job, the potential catering company, marketing a comic book, writing screenplays, volunteering, producing charity plays...god. When it's written out this way I don't feel as bad about behaving like a psycho. I am really ambitious, that's a given, but is it at all realistic? Which things can one work on and do well at and which will wait for you in the meantime?

I've realized that the only way I won't feel bad is to accomplish the tasks I've made strict commitments to - school and work. I need money so I have to come to work and I pay for school so I really should take advantage of it. Fortunately, my thesis outline came to me at midnight the other night. True to form, I mulled over it for months, procrastinated, avoided it, procrastinated some more, and then all of a sudden, it came to me. Silly brain - will you always torture me this way?

At least that's out of the way - sorta. I still have to actually write it out...

Then there's the Vagina Monologues. I am so excited to have been part of this. I tried to produce it as an undergraduate. I collected my actors, picked dates, got a venue, and then our nun president shut it down. Apparently she's one of the women in the play who doesn't like her vagina very much. But now, not only did I get to produce it, but I'm acting out one of the best monologues in the entire show (The Flood). If you've never heard of it, the character is a 72-yr-old virgin...I hope for laughs.

And even though I feel like I screw up time and time again at work, I somehow manage to remain highly regarded by my colleagues. Don't ask me, I would've fired my ass by now. I'm like Peter in Office Space at this place. I do whatever I want, come in hours late and still nothing. In fact, I got a great bonus and salary increase 6 months ago...I guess i'm "management material."

Anyhoo...today was a great day. A prominent comic book editor called and is going to help me with a project I'm working on and get me in touch with the WW editor so s/he can help with my thesis AND THEN, to top it all off, I had an interview at DC for an internship position. Aside from the fact that those were the coolest offices I've ever seen in my life, I told my real boss about it, and he supports it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it. I was ready to just take the unpaid internship and find a random job, (my choices were Starebucks, hooker, or stripper).

Now I get to be taken out to dinner by a man who adores me - again, I don't know why, minus the fact that I'm a great cook, I'm definitely a huge b*tch to deal with. He sticks around anyway. Maybe now it'll be for the free comic books I might get every week should I actually be able to get this internship.

Wow! Sometimes, I look back on the time I spent feeling sad or depressed and these days just negate all of that. And sometimes, life really does throw you a ton of luck. I think it does it to make up for all the time I spent feeling ugly and alone as an adolencent. Now that my inherent nerd is justified, I get to be and do whatever, and it's a really wonderful life...